80 days to go

Sweet Levi,

I am so anxious to meet you, my boy. According to the calendar, I have about 80 days to go until we reach that 40 week mark. 80 days seems like an eternity, and yet, it seems so very soon. I am going to have TWO boys to care for, to love, to teach and to hold. I can't wait.

I had my check up on Wednesday. Had to drink that nasty glucose drink and get lots of blood drawn and a Rhogam shot in a funny place. All worth it. You're pregnancy is so different from big brother's. I feel sicker, I throw up more, and kiddo, you are bigger! I make big babies I suppose. When you flip I can see your whole body move through my belly. It's so weird and cool. I've been much more anxious this time, and the midwife says that's normal. Because I know it's going to be painful at times. I know it will be scary. I know we won't sleep. And I know I want to be fully present for all of this.

I have been keeping so busy every day, trying to make time go by quicker so I can hurry up and hold you! I've been volunteering at church, taking big brother on all kinds of outings, and cleaning like a crazy lady! Nesting I suppose :)

Your shower will be next month. I've had a few people give me comments about how it's not appropriate to have a shower for the second baby, but guess what? I don't care. From the moment I started praying for you, I prayed I'd have a baby shower for you. Because YOU, sweet miracle baby, are worth celebrating. YOU have an excellent, tear-inducing, beautiful story. And that deserves a party in the biggest way. So we will party, baby boy. We will party with cute little cupcakes and cheesy games and a whole lot of happy tears. I can't wait. 

As I prepare for your arrival, I have been thinking about what I want you to know for sure. I hope to teach you in your early years that Jesus loves you very much. That you are a miracle and he makes miracles. That you are so prayed for, so treasured, so special. 

I want you to know that family is one of God's best gifts to us here. True family. Family that will love, lift you up, encourage, and give super hugs. Family doesn't have to mean blood. Family means love. 

I want you and big brother to be best friends. A big brother is a priceless gift. 

I want you to always feel so secure, so valued, so important. Because you are. 

I can't wait, sweet boy. I can't wait.

Love,

Mommy