We're celebrating today. Big time.
I'll be honest: I didn't think we'd make it this far. My pregnancy track record is not fabulous. But this is the longest I have been pregnant since I had my son 3 years ago.
Am I still anxious and nervous and fearful? Only when I'm awake.
I'm still nervous around cleaning products, still worried that when I eat an apple I might also be ingesting toxoplasmosis (guys, just don't read the baby books. Just don't.), still completely grossed out by raw meat. Blegh.
I'm still afraid of a lot. BUT. God's brought us here. To this point. I don't know why. But you better bet I woke up this morning with a grateful heart.
I'll admit it. I'm getting a little excited about this baby. I didn't let myself for the longest time, because I have been guarding my heart.
But today, I feel like maybe, just maybe, this baby might make it. I feel like I might get to have that baby shower. I might get to scream at the agonies of childbirth once again. I might just get to hold this child. Nurse this child. Hear this child call me Momma. I have a little bit of faith now.
Still taking it one day at a time. I do not write the weeks on my calender, I don't think about how many days I have left. I celebrate one day at a time.
Maybe this just might be good.
1 comment:
Beautiful picture fave daughter, I'm praying that this pg all works out, who would figure a bloke could have 4 grandkids before 60, and I just learned John's daughter Angela had a baby so I am a great uncle too... Love You, Dad.
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