Nervous

I've been a little, uh, nervous lately. Yes, nervous is the word I'm going with. Not anxious or worrisome or fearful. No, none of those words.....(I'm lying). 

Ben is still looking for a job, and bless his heart, he really is trying as hard as he can. His current job runs until March 31, so we are praying hard that he can get hired somewhere before then.

I'm worried.

Worried about our mortgage. 

Worried about medical bills (our stomach virus last week is going to lead to some pretty pricey medical bills sent out very soon). 

Worried about what we will do if something breaks-our car, our house, something.

Worried.

I am trying with all my might to see this as a positive. 

I broke my glasses a few weeks ago, and I was devastated. For one thing, I needed them to do just about anything. For another, I didn't have money for new ones (my prescription is pretty high. My eyes keep getting worse). The broken glasses turned out to be a big blessing actually. My mom got me a new pair and an eye exam as an early birthday present, and it's so good I got an exam because my eyes have changed! I needed new glasses but without the old pair breaking I never would have gone in to get checked out. SO, it seemed horrible that they broke, but really it was God's way of getting my butt to the optometrist.

I'm looking at Ben's loss of job the same way. He hasn't been able to grow the way he wants at his current job, and it's a very far commute. So maybe this is God's way of something better for him. For our family.

We just have to trust. 

Easier said than done.