Hope

Ben and I went to an adoption seminar last week. We didn't really keep it a secret, in fact, I encouraged any friend thinking of adopting to go to this wonderful event put on by my fabulous church. I wasn't exactly sure why Ben and I should go, I only knew that I felt a strong tug on my heart to learn a little more. So we went.
I was so very nervous. We sat at a table with other couples, all in the process of adopting. They asked what our plans were. We were honest and said we had no idea, we just wanted to be obedient and learn about growing our family.
My prayer for this night was so simple: I asked God to speak to my heart as well as my husband's.

We didn't say anything to each other the rest of the night. We were just trying to process what we had learned.

The truth is, I became very overwhelmed. And, admittedly, a little sad too. I pray daily for more children, but I hadn't really thought that they might not come from my own womb. I just don't know what God's plans are.

In case you were wondering about my prayer, God did in fact bless both Ben and I through this experience. The next day a friend directed me to a verse: 1 Samuel 1:27. I had never read this before, so I looked it up. And I discovered a very cool story. Hannah was a woman much like myself, praying for her womb to have a child in it. She would go to Shiloh to pray for a child. God eventually blessed her with a baby.
The thing is, I have always wanted a baby named Shiloh. I didn't know why,  other than the fact that I like the meaning (God's gift). Reading this passage was a sweet little gift reminding me to pray without ceasing.

As for Ben? Well, he is now open to the idea of adopting (we both had been kind of afraid of the idea before. What a process!). We don't know how big our family will grow, or how it will grow. But our hope has certainly been renewed, and that is a priceless gift.