Heaven

Dearest Gran,

I got the call that you passed yesterday. You went to be with Jesus. I knew it was coming, the doctors fully prepared us, and yet, I didn't believe it. A tiny part of me thought you would pull the wool over our eyes, come out victorious once again.

But you're in Heaven now. 

Friday night, I was driving to the grocery store when I saw the most beautiful, vibrant rainbow I have ever seen. I am not one to get impressed by a rainbow, but this one nearly took my breath away. I felt as if God was telling me that it would be okay. That he's going to take wonderful care of my Gran. 

I have always believed in Heaven, in the gospel, and yet, I was a little worried at first when I heard you passed. Will you be comfortable? Are you enjoying your huge, eternal family reunion with so many that have gone before you? 

I know you are. 

You worked so hard during your nearly 86 years here. And yet, you knew that works meant nothing. You loved your Lord, and you created a beautiful legacy of love and family simply because you wouldn't want it any other way. I just know Jesus is telling you he's pleased. As you used to tell me time and time again, "You done good". 

There aren't many people in my life that I can remember being in every single one of my life-shaping events. You helped me through my parents divorce. My mom's remarriage. My college days. My marriage. My transition to motherhood. You were there. If not in person than definitely only a phone call away. Gran, you shaped my life. I pray that someday I can be as wonderful a grandmother to my own grandchildren as you were to me. 

My little family of three went on a walk yesterday evening, swapping our favorite Gran stories. We had been at a loud social function and I just had to leave. I was overwhelmed. I needed to wrap my head around losing you. 

One of my very favorite Gran stories happened only a month ago. We went to visit you in the ICU. We brought L, but they wouldn't let him see you (ICU policy). So Ben waited with him in the waiting room when I went in. Your first words were "Where's my baby?" and I had to tell you that he wasn't allowed in. So you tried to sneak out! You asked the nurse for a wheelchair. She asked why. You said you had some business to take care of. She said no. I smiled and asked if you were trying to see "your baby". You got a mischievous grin on your face and just winked at me.

I have a million stories I could tell. I was worried about which stories to choose, I didn't want to leave out any important ones. But I realize now that I have the rest of my life to remember you and your legacy. I promise to tell my boy about the wonder that is his great Gran. 

We love you so.