Joy

You want to know something that's all too true? Sometimes it's easier to be grumpy than it is to be joyful. It just is. Especially when this whole grateful thing is not exactly second nature. Case in point: You all know that I am working on my 1,000 gifts. Truthfully, I have never felt so at peace. I am realizing all of the little things God does for me every day. But some days can still be difficult. This week, I got a call from a loved one. I did this person a pretty big favor recently, in hopes that it would make our relationship whole again. Yeah, selfishly, I did the act of kindness for myself. I just wanted things to be perfect in this relationship. I got a phone call a few days later, and fully expected to hear thanks over the act of kindness. No, friends. What I got was this: "You could have done better. You would have done this better for so and so. You like them better". Not going to lie, friends. That hurt. A ton. While in conversation with this individual, my heart started to ache. I prayed. I said "Okay God, I did something nice, and this is how you repay me?" and then I also asked Him to give me the right words to say to this person. I do not like confrontation. I would rather curl up in a ball and cry than stick up for myself. In short, I need to grow a pair :) But for the first time in a very long while, I was indeed able to stick up for myself. It was difficult. I cried. I ached. After the conversation, the individual said "Thank you for your honesty" and hung up. What I'm getting at is this: Having a joyful heart, a grateful heart, does not at all mean things are going to be rainbows and sunshine every day. Yes, I try to look for the good, but it's not always easy to see. But still. I am in awe of the peace. It's not eating away at me like it used to. The truth is, if I do good works for man, who am I really trying to please? I know better. God's opinion is the one that truly matters. Have a thankful day, friends. He loves you.